Thanks to a Stranger

I thought about that evening many times over the years. At the time it seemed like a nice gesture and I was proud to be sitting next to him but three years later that memory would be more meaningful than I ever expected.

It was shortly after he finished basic training. He was home on leave ( I think he was on his way to California). He was so proud of his uniform and what he had accomplished. He called my sister and I to invite us out to dinner. He insisted on taking us to the Palomino because in his eyes it was the best. With him it was always like that. Everything had to be perceived as the "best". When he bought a game system, guitar, he only chose the "best". He ate steak whenever possible because it's the best cut. When he invited a girl to a dance she had to be the most popular girl in school because she was the best. When he joined the armed forces it was the Marines because they are the best.

In this case he wanted to go to the best restaurant in town and wear his dress blues. Rachel and I just happened to be lucky enough to be asked to join him.

As we walked into the restaurant you could tell he was proud.  He stood tall, dressed impeccably and ready to spend whatever was necessary to impress. Funny enough, he was actually disappointed that there wasn't a regular cheeseburger on the menu. We enjoyed a delicious meal that evening (I'm pretty sure he settled on a steak), laughed with each other, argued with each other. He told us how many chin-ups he could do and how many push-ups, he told us about his plans, we talked about my young and growing family and about my sister's plan for the future. But before long the meal was over, dessert had been eaten and all that was left was to pay the bill.

The server came with the little black case (I have no idea what that little black case is called) and slid it across the table to my brother. As Morgan opened it the server said to him said "A gentleman at a table across the way has taken care of your bill this evening."  Inside the check book was a note that simply said "Thank You." We asked after the stranger but he had already left the restaurant.

I remember thinking at that moment "That was nice." It didn't strike how important that gesture was until three years later as I stood by Morgan's grave watching the dirt sprinkle down onto his casket.  That man didn't know that he had bought dinner for young man that had just made it out of basic, he didn't know that Morgan had just wanted to show off his dress blues and impress his sisters with a fancy meal. He didn't know that Morgan would brag about that moment many times (pretty much every time I talked to him he'd say "remember the time I took you to the Palomino......." ). What than man knew was that Morgan had made a commitment to put his life on the line when the time came. And that's just what Morgan did.

So to that person who paid the check for a young Marine years ago, I say Thank You.

Sgt. Morgan W. Strader

July 18, 1981 -November 12, 2004

Finally, Success!

When we bought this house years ago I was so excited to have my first fireplace. I had visions of the family crowded by the fire reading books, singing songs, sharing stories, playing board games and enjoying each others company. (ok maybe not singing but all the rest.) I imagined late nights snuggled next to my husband with a glass of wine discussing our days, plans for the future, and simply relaxing in the warm glow of a crackling fire. Oh what a beautiful vision!

Then the opportunity to light our first fire rolled around. It only took moments for Roy to get a roaring flame going and only moments for my panic to set in as I watched my two toddler boys wrestle in front of the flames just inches away from a glass door hot enough to scorch their delicate skin. That was the moment I realized the picture I had in my head was not happening anytime soon. It would be almost 6 years before I would feel comfortable having a fire in the house. The few times we would try I would stay stationed between the fireplace and the kids for fear that one would get bumped and fall against the glass door or that a little one would reach out to touch it and not realize how hot the glass was.

Eventually we took the glass doors off, they were ugly any way, but that only lessened my anxiety by a little.

I often thought about waiting until the children were in bed to enjoy a fire with Roy but most nights by the time that opportunity rolled around we were both too tired to build or enjoy a fire.

And so last year I finally felt like I could enjoy a fire without having to stand guard the entire time it was burning. And so comes the fun part, learning to build a fire. Most of the time I would just tell Roy that I wanted a fire and would wait for him to come home and get it started. But then last spring on a could rainy afternoon I decided it would be wonderful to welcome the kids home from school with a roaring fire and a dinner in front of it.  Roy wouldn't be home that evening until late, so I set myself to the task. I took the fire-starters that sat by the wood and laid them carefully on the grates I layered the split logs on top with a little kindling and struck the match. Whoosh! up went the beautiful flames. I sat and watch for a minute as the crackled and burned and then ran upstairs to begin dinner. Moments later I looked into the family room to only to see some charred wood and a little smoke curling up into the chimney. What!? I ran back down to investigate. The fire-starters and the kindling had burned up but the logs were still there. How could that be? I couldn't figure it out so I started over. After about 2 hours of the same process, frustrated, in tears, hungry, by now the kids were home and I was tired of the them telling me the fire had gone out yet again, I finally gave up. I just couldn't do it. I can light a charcoal grill and start a bonfire, but this I just couldn't seem to do.

After that night the days became warm, sunny and beautiful, so for the next few months I didn't even think about a fire. Then last week the weather turned nasty, I was working from home, I had suffered through a rough morning involving my dishwasher and a lot of water on the floor and I thought to myself wouldn't it be nice to sit by a roaring fire with a cup of coffee to work. I decided I could do this, I could start a fire. So I moved the screen away and there sat the logs from last spring that I couldn't get to burn. (yes that's right I had thought so little about a fire I hadn't even cleaned out the fireplace.) So my first thought was, those have got to be dry enough to burn now.  I grabbed the last two fire-starters, a little newspaper and some kindling. I carefully read the instructions on the fire-starters, I built the fire accordingly and struck the match. This time instead of a whoosh! two slow flames began burning, the paper caught and then the kindling began to burn. The crackling, the warmth it was perfect. I watched for about 10 minutes then went to the kitchen to make a some coffee. When I returned to the basement my face dropped in disappointment. No flames, no crackling, just a few smoldering pieces of wood. AGGGGHHHHH! This fire was not going to get the best of me. I gathered more newspaper, some sticks the kids had collected and set to work. I was going to have a fire! Half a box of matches, every old school paper I could find and an hour later I still had no fire. I took a deep breathe, walked upstairs to fix my cup of coffee(someday I'll tell you why that didn't help my mood). I was done.

I  gave up on a fire for that day but that didn't stop me from wanting one again. Last night on the way home from the kids' martial arts class I couldn't help but want to try again. I stopped at the store, grabbed some more fire-starters (and a little wine I figured I could enjoy it by the fire  or use it to calm my nerves) and we headed home. It only took me two tries and last night this is what I had:

Have I finally learned the proper technique for building a fire, maybe. But it sure was nice to have a little success last night.

And I thought that was scary.......

One of the scariest things I ever did was to walk into work one day and say "I've decided to be a Stay-at-Home-Mom." Of course at the time I didn't think it was scary, it was liberating. I would now be able to be with my child (and the one that was on the way) all day every day! We would go to the park, shop at the mall, eat lunch with friends, oh the list of things to do just went on and on. It wasn't until about two weeks later when I had worn out my welcome at all my friend's places of work, I'm sure my husband was wondering if a daily 2 hour visit to the shop was necessary, my last paycheck had been spent and the house looked like a frat party had taken place there that reality suddenly set in.

I had just given up my paycheck, my work life and I was not on vacation. The housework had to be done, the baby had to be entertained (guess who was responsible),  not everybody (especially those people who didn't have kids yet) enjoys eating lunch while your child shoved smashed bananas and peas up their nose and the list of things to get done just went on and on and on.  I suddenly realized that those couple of weeks of fun were now over. I had to watch every penny I spent, so no more grand shopping trips and lunches out, life had to be scheduled around naps and eating, long conversations over a nice lunch were a thing of the past, and soon I would have two little people demanding my constant attention. What was I thinking?!

It took a couple (ok several years and a few more kids) for me to finally settle into a routine and to truly adjust to life as a stay-at-home mom. I found ways to entertain the kids and not all of them made me feel like I was going insane. I started a playgroup, joined a bible study, watched other peoples kids. I learned that I did not have to listen to the Wiggles siging "Fruit Salad" for 12 hours straight, that my kids actually liked real music so it wasn't necessary to torture myself with weird kid's music day after day. I made new friends and took time out now and then to visit with old ones (even sometimes without kids). And I realized that sometimes the best things were those like a night out at Target on my own after a long day. I learned to live in chaos and yet truly appreciate order. And I found the joy of a noisy household and the bliss of a few quiet moments. I finally figured out that though the housework did have to be done it wasn't all on me and a little dirt on the floor never hurt anyone even if they were eating a raisin off it. I found what worked for us.

Then one day I realized that my kids weren't little anymore. My oldest was entering 8th grade and my youngest was beginning 1/2 day at a local preschool. So what did I want to do with my "free-time"? I knew I didn't want to leave my youngest yet, but he wouldn't need me all day. And I knew I wanted to help out at the schools but that wasn't going to take up all my time either. We needed some extra money and I thought maybe it was time to consider working outside the home again. I started researching some different opportunities and settled on real estate. I had a background in real estate and marketing, plus I had kept up on the market over the years since I was sure I would be getting a new house at some point (still waiting on that some point). It is flexible and can allow me to be where I needed to be while still offering a good paycheck. So it seemed like a perfect fit.  I figured out what I needed to do to reinstate my license and I was off and running.

In a few short weeks I had completed my course work, sat for the exam, and signed a contract with a local company. Then it hit me " I've just became a Working Mom" - this suddenly seemed terrifying. Now not only did I have five kids to care for, a house to run, sports and activities to keep up with, and dinners to cook, but I am going to go out and sell houses too. I wondered if I had finally cracked. The pressure of being a Stay-at-Home-Mom of five had finally gotten to me and for some reason I had the crazy notion that going back into the work place was going to make it ok. I quickly began to worry not just about the things anyone would worry about when starting a new job, such as "Can I handle the work load?, Am I well trained?, Will I like the people I work with?, etc."  But coming off of 12 years at home with kids I had a whole other set of worries: Will I say "I need to go potty" to a client?, Where will my kids go when I have to be at training/meetings? What if I can't remember how to use a computer, sure I know how to pin on Pinterest and post on Facebook, but what about Publisher, CRM's, spreadsheets, etc?  What will I wear? Will I start cutting up my manager's food when at a business lunch?, How will all those things I've always done get done? Will someone say I have a blueberry hand print on my chest before I head out to show a house? Will my children learn that they don't need me anymore...........

But after a few weeks of being back to work I have learned a few things:

I have a wonderful husband and kids - they have taken up some of the work at home (the kids aren't always thrilled about it, but they do it). Roy has made sure I have the time to work without worry, getting the kids on the bus and being sure they get dropped off/picked up when needed.  And not once have they let me leave the house with a stain on my shirt.

I have extremely supportive family and friends - they watched kids, shown up with dinners, brought me clothes or took me shopping, listened to me vent, and celebrated each step of my new career with me.

I haven't forgotten as much as I thought I had - it took a few tries but I am just a tech capable as I ever was.

I work with great people - I am impressed with how encouraging everyone at my office is, from my manager who is focused on training to be sure I have the tools I need and that I know how to use them, the office manager who of course as we all know is the backbone to the operation, to the other agents who offer advice and help in everything I do.

Potty is not a ingrained in my speech - I am able to talk to adults like adults and I have yet to cut up anybody's food for them.

My wardrobe still needs work - I will have to admit that after being at home for more than 
12  years I had slowly transitioned my wardrobe to almost entirely casual (and I mean really casual clothing). It only took 4 days in the office to run through every business outfit I owned. But luckily I have some great friends with excellent taste who had clothes to pass on, add in a few trips to the store I now have something to work with. It's a start.

As independent as they are, my kids still need me - they need someone to talk to when they get home from school, they still need help with their homework, someone to help them find their way and provide them guidance, and someone on whom to rest their weary heads after a long day.

And so I am proud to be back at work. I am proud to have earned the right to call myself a REALTOR® and to be a part of the Century 21 Scheetz team. 

Oh wait.......what's that?  To get paid I have to get clients and sell homes?.......Now that's scary!

The Night Before The First Day of School

At the end of each school year I think to myself, next fall I'm going to do better. Next year when school starts I'm going to have a plan instead of running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I plan that when my kids head off to school that first morning not only will their bellies be full, their supplies all sorted and ready to go but their minds will be fresh off a summer of fun learning. I plan that we will start "school" bedtimes at least one week before the big day, all laundry will be done and clothes neatly put away so that everyone can find their favorite outfit. And so I start looking for recipes for things to stock my freezer with for healthy quick breakfasts. I search the internet (ok I scan Pinterest) for ideas on fun learning activities to get the whole family involved. I print off school supply lists on the first of June with the intent of being sure every item is purchased by the beginning of the year. I pile the lunch boxes and back-packs in the laundry room to scrub until they look and smell new. But it never fails. I am never prepared for the first day of school. I have the date on the calendar, I get constant e-mail reminders about things that need to be done, and as the day draws near I run it friends who are asking me "are you ready?". But the answer is always NO. I'm never ready. I barely made it to the grocery store today to pick up the food for the kids' lunches only to come home and realize that all our little plastic containers had become homes to various crickets, roly-polys, and other bugs, guess the they'll only take what can go in a plastic baggie. And I think I forgot to buy bread. Then one of the children asked what did you get for breakfasts, Uggh! Never quite got around to making all those good for you and great for freezing breakfast items.  Just have to see what I can whip up from what's in the house tomorrow morning. Last night I finally got the kids to bed before 11PM, well at least some of them. I went through the kids' school supplies (about 15 min before open house) to find that those items that I was tired of looking for the day we had gone shopping were still missing from their bags. And the back-pack I had sworn did not need to be replaced because it was just a little dirty, that with a good cleaning would be as good as new, now sits still a little wet from finally being washed only to look not so new or so clean. I've got physicals that need to be turned in, fees that need to be paid, boxes of kleenx that haven't been bought, and stacks of ideas for first day teacher gifts that will never be made. All those fun learning ideas we were going to do this summer are still marked on my Pinterest board just waiting to be read and actually completed. As I sit hear tonight listening to the dryer run with the load of laundry that someone suddenly remembered needed to be done because their favorite shirt wasn't clean, I wonder how will we make it through another year? But we will and when this year comes to an end I'll think - Next year I'll do better!

Battle of the Bulge

I've been fighting this battle pretty much since the birth of my first child. It started out as a small war waged against a noticeable but not overwhelming enemy. But as the years had passed and our family had grown and grown and grown again, so had the size, weight, and over all immensity of the challenger. There were times when it would shrink and I would feel as if I had a handle on it but other times the size would be so overwhelming all I could do was sit and cry. I worked hard to get back to what it was like before kids. Sometimes with help, sometimes on my own. Some weeks I would make huge progress, keeping up with the pledge I had made to myself and conquering mountains I never knew I could. And others I'd fall back into bad habits or lazy behaviors. I was just too tired, felt too busy, or just didn't want to work at it for another minute. In those times (which might only have been a day or two) all the work of previous weeks would be undone leaving me right back where I started or worse with a bigger load than I had before. I'd lie to myself often saying "Next week I'll do better, I'll stick to my plan." But more often than not I find it would only last a few days before I began to feel overwhelmed and looking for excuses not to follow through. In recent years I have made much progress though. I've found that following a few basic guidelines I can make a difference and it's made this battle a little less challenging. So here are my tips:

1. Come up with a manageable and workable plan. A good plan will not only help you conquer but will also help you maintain. And get the family involved. Remember they helped cause the problem it only seems logical that they participate in the solution.

2. Ask for and require help. Again your family should be there to support you and provide assistance. This is just as much for their benefit as it is yours. Older kids are great resources and younger kids love being included.

3. Work on smaller goals. Do a little every day. Every little bit helps so even if you're short on time try to make a small amount of progress. Trying to take care of it all at once never works and ends up leaving you too exhausted to keep up which usually results in the enemy making gains.

4. Stick to the basics. Don't let yourself be sweet talked by gimmicky products. They are expensive and rarely work like they claim.

5. Accept the fact that there may always be a little something left to do. That's what having kids does to you. It's ok. Don't be discouraged.


Using these 5 steps I've found that even though sometimes I still slip up and find that my bulge has grown once again I am easily able to get back on track and stay there. Now go battle those bulging laundry hampers, find the bottom of those weighed down baskets of clothes, TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR LAUNDRY!

This is Tech Support???

I admit it! I am not a tech savvy person. I am often perplexed by our TV remote, find our game system to be intimidating and often turn to my children for help with my phone. But I have to say I a confounded by the fact that I am often more technically literate than the so called Tech Support Reps I with whom I have to interact with for help. Here's the latest example of a quality Tech Support conversation:

"Hello you've reached technical support, how can I assist you?"

"Hi, my name is Amber, I have cell phone model #----- it's a touch screen phone and the touch screen is no longer responding."

"Ok let me get a little information from you. What's your name and what kind of phone do you have?"

"Yes, my name is Amber and my phone is model #------."

"Ok that appears to be a touch screen model, what seems to be the problem?"

"The touch screen is not responding"

"What portion of the screen isn't working?"

"The part you touch."

"Have you tried turning it off, waiting 30 seconds and  then turning it back on?"

"Yes. I even took out the battery and kept it out all night then put it back in this morning."

"Ok here's what we're going to try. First turn the phone off, wait 30 seconds, then turn it back on."

"hhmmm ok. That's done."

"Is the screen working now?"

"No"

" Alright. Now try removing the battery, let it sit for 60 seconds, then put the battery back in and power the phone up again."

"Ooookkkk."

"Does the screen work now?"

"Nope, just like after leaving the battery out all night as I mentioned before it still doesn't work."

"We will need to try a hard boot next. This will erase any data you have on your phone. Would you like to take some time to retrieve that data and call us back?"

"Well since it's a touch screen model and the touch screen isn't working it seems to me it would be impossible to retrieve that data, so I guess no."

"Yes ma'am. So you'd like to proceed with the hard boot."

"Yes."

The tech proceeds to give instructions on pushing a series of buttons which causes the phone to reset and the conversation continues:

"What is the phone doing at this time?"

"It's still powering up"

"Alright take your time."

"Are you talking to the phone? Because I'm just waiting on the phone to reboot."

"Yes ma'am."

"The phone has rebooted and power is on, the screen is still not responding."

"It would appear you have a non-responsive touch screen ma'am."

"How did you determine that?"

"Well....

"Never mind. What can we do now?"

"You can send the phone to our service center for service. This may cause a loss of any data you have on the phone so please take time to retrieve the data before sending your phone."

"Would that be the same data I lost in the reboot that I couldn't access because of the non-responsive touch screen?"

"Ma'am?"

"Never mind, can you just give me the instructions for sending it in?"

Practicing Contentment

It's a funny thing, 8 years ago when we first moved into this house from our tiny bungalow in Speedway, I remember wondering how would we ever fill this space? Our furniture was small and sparse, we had 3 little children, and only a handful of things. The closets seemed huge and every bedroom had one, plus there was a coat closet, coming from a house that had only 2 tiny closets that's a big deal. And we now had two full baths. Our previous home had one bathroom. We did have a shower-head in the middle of the basement but that really didn't help much with potty training.

Now we're busting at the seams. All of our furniture seems to big for the rooms but not quite big enough for these growing kids. We've turned what once was the living room into our dining room, because the dining space was more like a restaurant booth requiring everyone to get up each time someone had to go to the bathroom (which for some reason happens a lot at dinner). The kids are literally packed into their bedrooms one on top of the other with one child who at present doesn't even have a bed. He's grown out of his toddler bed but we haven't quite figured out how to fit another twin bed in the bedroom. So he roams from one bed to another having a "sleepover" every night. (Probably going to have to remedy that before school starts.) Closest are shared between 2-3 people and one child's clothes are all in my room because of the lack of space. (Granted she does have the biggest wardrobe of all of us but even when pared down it's got no where else to go.) Bathrooms, yeah never enough. And I won't even start on my too tiny kitchen where half the appliances aren't even close to standard size and yet you still can't open the dishwasher and the fridge at the same time, let alone have more than two people cook at the same time.

Some days I think 95% of the brawls that happen between the kids are simply started because one tried to stretch and someone's face was in the way. I go crazy trying to organize and reorganize things so that everything we need is available but not being tripped over. Some might say, "declutter", "simplify", "get rid of some stuff" and believe me I do. I'm always packing up things to donate or trash. But there are just things you need that have to a place to go. And no matter how much I get rid of the kids keep growing and their bodies alone take up most of space than we have.

Just when I think I've had enough, I'm pulling my hair out and I can't live in this overcrowded space any longer, I'll see something amazing. Five children snuggled together on one couch watching a movie. Three boys asleep in a bed curled around one another. Seven people packed tightly around a dinner table praying, laughing, and sharing stories from their day. Three people piled on each other in a chair reading a book. Kids figuring out how to organize their shelves so everyone's prized possessions can be seen. Five kids coming to a compromise on what to watch on our one TV. Brother and sister standing side-by-side in the kitchen preparing breakfast for their younger siblings. A 13yr old still willing to share her bed with her little brother. Four kids and me in a bathroom helping one another get ready for the day. Brothers making choices as to what clothes they can share and how to best utilize their drawer space. Five kids sitting around their father watching their favorite TV show and sharing one bowl of popcorn. All the kids huddled into one tiny room planning a play to perform for their parents.

Those are the moments that make me see how blessed we are to live in such a cozy environment.  Sure a bigger kitchen would be great, more bathrooms would make getting ready to go easier, bigger and more bedrooms would allow people to escape one another. But is that what I really want? I love that my kids are learning to compromise, make room for each other, work together to be sure there is space for what is special to each other, can't move without running into someone, that family is more than just a word it's an environment. Sure sometimes it causes conflict and the amount of people in one room can be overwhelming. But in the end I can't help but believe that these close quarters force us to be dependent on one another, create situations that demand that we set our own wants aside to attend to the needs of each other, and prepare my children for life in a world where compromise and adjustment are necessary.

And so I will practice being content in our tiny space because maybe in a bigger house these events would still occur, but maybe they wouldn't and right now I'm not willing to risk it. As frustrating as it may be to fit seven people in a house built for four it would be even worse to see my kids off in their separate corners not coming together to enjoy life and finding that staying out of the way is easier than being involved.

Be Happy With What You Get

I am always trying to teach my children to be happy with what they have and not to complain about what they are not getting or that others are. As you can imagine it's not a lesson easily learned. Even I haven't quite come to terms with it, sometimes wanting a bigger house or a newer car. But I continue to pursue the instruction with my children, hoping one day it will sink in and allow them to be content.

Right now my 4-yr old is having a difficult time with this. He is constantly whining that the older kids get to go to someone's house or play a sport or have a electronic device he's just to young to use. It's a daily battle to make him understand that his time will come and to enjoy what he has right now.

A couple of weeks ago we had a moment that I thought would really reinforce the lesson. One afternoon my two girls had a doctor's appointment. I had taken Lil B with us and of course he cried and whined the whole time about how unfair it was that he did not get a doctor's appointment too.  Though I tried to explain it was a check-up and his turn would come soon enough he just couldn't let it go. While there the doctor suggested some shots for the girls and there was one that Lil B needed as well. She said she could have them all taken care of right then so I wouldn't have to make a return trip. I thought that was a fine idea.

As we waited for the nurse I told the girls that they were going to get two shots each and Lil B that he would get one. Of course the crying started immediately.

"That's not fair! They always get more than me. Why do they get two and I only get one?"

I tried to explain to him that he didn't want two shots and that he should be happy with just the one. He didn't buy it. Some how he felt was still getting cheated.  As the nurse came in he jumped up on the table to be the first. Surprised by his eagerness the nurse prepared to give him the shot. As I held his hands she pushed the needle into his thigh, it was at this moment that he was no longer disappointed to only be receiving one shot.

I asked him if he still wanted to be equal to the girls and through his tears he agreed one shot was enough. I had hoped this lesson would stick with him at least for a little while, alas it would only be moments before he would be noting another injustice.

Backfire

Back in July my oldest came to me with a wad of birthday money and gift cards in hand. She had decided what she was getting with all her birthday dough and couldn't wait to tell me. A Guinea Pig. Of course I immediately reminded her that just because it was her money she could not make a purchase without the consent of me and my husband. Now, not being an animal lover my first instinct was to say "No, absolutely not, under no circumstances was anyone bringing another creature into this house!" We already have a dog (the crazy one I've mentioned in previous posts) and a cat. We've also had several fish and a couple of frogs, none of which have lasted long. Mostly because in this house to get fed and watered you have to be able to voice your needs. Hence the reason the dog and cat are still around. (Plants don't stand a chance with us.)  But I knew from experience that an instant no would lead to crying, a meltdown, and persistent requests. No matter how many times I said the discussion was closed it would not be. So I postponed any discussion until I had a chance to think things through and talk with Roy.

Since I am a creative mother and I like to use every opportunity I can to teach my children, I came up with a perfect plan. Not only could I avoid bringing a new furry thing into my home but I could teach my daughter a valuable lesson about finances and responsibility. Here was my chance to show her that a pet was not a one time purchase but was a monthly expense and that expectations for showing she was serious would be high. So I came up with a set of requirements she had to meet before any such purchase could be made, reviewed them with Roy and then presented them to K. They were:

1. She must research guinea pigs, how to care for them, what they need as far as cages, toys etc with an estimate of costs. Plus a list of monthly expenses for the pet.
2. Prior to purchase she must have enough money to not only purchase the animal but all it's necessities and have 6 months of monthly expenses saved up.
3. She also needed to be able to show that each month for 6 months she could earn enough to set aside for giving, money for gifts and spending, savings, as well as the guinea pigs monthly expenses.
4. She must maintain a clean room and have an area kept clear for the animal's cage.
5. She had to keep her grades at a level that her father and I determined acceptable for each course.

I was betting that by the time she had earned enough to cover all the expenses (which I was hoping would take more than 6 months) and when she saw that earning money every month was not as easy as it sounded then her interest in the guinea pig would wane. Plus I was banking on the fact that she never keeps her room clean. In the end, she would have enough money to buy something else, would have learned a little about being a good financial steward, practiced more responsibility for herself and her room and most importantly, I would have a guinea pig free home.

Little did I know her determination would carry her through. The money part was actually much easier than I had hoped it would be. From her birthday and a babysitting job or two she quickly had enough to take care of the initial purchase.  And since our neighbors and their children love her, getting a well paid monthly job has been no trouble. By October she was set financially and still earning. She had money to buy Christmas, she had put money away for college, she had set aside some for giving and had 6 months of guinea pig expenses covered. Grades I thought would be an easy one for her, but one class was harder (especially the tests) than she or I had anticipated. Once receiving a less than acceptable grade in the first quarter, she quickly got to work and brought the grade up to standard, doing very well the second quarter. Of course maintaining a clean room has probably been the biggest challenge. Though it hasn't been perfect she has put a lot of effort into making her room presentable and since I'm not the best example I can let the room slide a little (but don't tell her that). By December I realized that my plan had backfired. Not only had she met all the requirements but her desire for this little furry creature had only grown more intense. And so two days after Christmas, Rodney joined our home.


 So parents I caution you! Though you should definitely take advantage of any opportunity you have to teach responsibility and financial stewardship, be careful who you bet against and choosing the stakes. You might lose!