Practicing Contentment

It's a funny thing, 8 years ago when we first moved into this house from our tiny bungalow in Speedway, I remember wondering how would we ever fill this space? Our furniture was small and sparse, we had 3 little children, and only a handful of things. The closets seemed huge and every bedroom had one, plus there was a coat closet, coming from a house that had only 2 tiny closets that's a big deal. And we now had two full baths. Our previous home had one bathroom. We did have a shower-head in the middle of the basement but that really didn't help much with potty training.

Now we're busting at the seams. All of our furniture seems to big for the rooms but not quite big enough for these growing kids. We've turned what once was the living room into our dining room, because the dining space was more like a restaurant booth requiring everyone to get up each time someone had to go to the bathroom (which for some reason happens a lot at dinner). The kids are literally packed into their bedrooms one on top of the other with one child who at present doesn't even have a bed. He's grown out of his toddler bed but we haven't quite figured out how to fit another twin bed in the bedroom. So he roams from one bed to another having a "sleepover" every night. (Probably going to have to remedy that before school starts.) Closest are shared between 2-3 people and one child's clothes are all in my room because of the lack of space. (Granted she does have the biggest wardrobe of all of us but even when pared down it's got no where else to go.) Bathrooms, yeah never enough. And I won't even start on my too tiny kitchen where half the appliances aren't even close to standard size and yet you still can't open the dishwasher and the fridge at the same time, let alone have more than two people cook at the same time.

Some days I think 95% of the brawls that happen between the kids are simply started because one tried to stretch and someone's face was in the way. I go crazy trying to organize and reorganize things so that everything we need is available but not being tripped over. Some might say, "declutter", "simplify", "get rid of some stuff" and believe me I do. I'm always packing up things to donate or trash. But there are just things you need that have to a place to go. And no matter how much I get rid of the kids keep growing and their bodies alone take up most of space than we have.

Just when I think I've had enough, I'm pulling my hair out and I can't live in this overcrowded space any longer, I'll see something amazing. Five children snuggled together on one couch watching a movie. Three boys asleep in a bed curled around one another. Seven people packed tightly around a dinner table praying, laughing, and sharing stories from their day. Three people piled on each other in a chair reading a book. Kids figuring out how to organize their shelves so everyone's prized possessions can be seen. Five kids coming to a compromise on what to watch on our one TV. Brother and sister standing side-by-side in the kitchen preparing breakfast for their younger siblings. A 13yr old still willing to share her bed with her little brother. Four kids and me in a bathroom helping one another get ready for the day. Brothers making choices as to what clothes they can share and how to best utilize their drawer space. Five kids sitting around their father watching their favorite TV show and sharing one bowl of popcorn. All the kids huddled into one tiny room planning a play to perform for their parents.

Those are the moments that make me see how blessed we are to live in such a cozy environment.  Sure a bigger kitchen would be great, more bathrooms would make getting ready to go easier, bigger and more bedrooms would allow people to escape one another. But is that what I really want? I love that my kids are learning to compromise, make room for each other, work together to be sure there is space for what is special to each other, can't move without running into someone, that family is more than just a word it's an environment. Sure sometimes it causes conflict and the amount of people in one room can be overwhelming. But in the end I can't help but believe that these close quarters force us to be dependent on one another, create situations that demand that we set our own wants aside to attend to the needs of each other, and prepare my children for life in a world where compromise and adjustment are necessary.

And so I will practice being content in our tiny space because maybe in a bigger house these events would still occur, but maybe they wouldn't and right now I'm not willing to risk it. As frustrating as it may be to fit seven people in a house built for four it would be even worse to see my kids off in their separate corners not coming together to enjoy life and finding that staying out of the way is easier than being involved.