Last month I wrote about wanting to change the way I looked at my responsibilities. To refocus and to attack everything I do with joy. To remind myself and focus on doing each task to the bring glory to God. So it's been about a month and you might be wondering how has this refreshed perspective changed things for me.
Well it's been amazing! The house is clean, the children and I are getting along great and I wake up and go to bed with a smile on my face. Nice picture, huh? If only it were true. The reality is I live in a house with two pre-pubescent tweens who are on emotional roller-coasters, a 9-yr old who constantly tries to push all my buttons, a 6-yr old who thinks she's 15, 4yr-old who hasn't quite adjusted to the fact he is not a baby anymore and a dog who has at least 3 different personalities all of which clash with mine. (I don't mention my husband because he's pretty even keeled and is rarely involved creating the drama of our home.) And unfortunately a change in my perspective does little to change the emotional reaction of the rest of the house. It also does not change the mundane chaos that occurs during our day or the tasks that must be accomplished. We went through e-days, PMS, a holiday, the dog tearing things up and pooping in the house plus many other activities drama and stress creating activities. I didn't become a fabulous housekeeper that sings while I scrub the toilet or dances in my heels while I mop the floor and I won't be nominated for any mother of the year awards, but.....
here's what has changed:
1. I tried to wake up each morning with a quick prayer - Dear God, Allow me to be your light and allow the Holy Spirit to lead me to bring you glory in all I do.
This is different than how I use to start the morning. Usually I jump out of bed with little thought to what attitude I have or how it will affect the day. If I did pray it was usually more like this, Please help me keep my yelling under control. Which usually resulted in a prayer by 8am that please help me to have a fresh start after my coffee.
If I didn't remember to pray first thing then as soon as I thought if it I would take a moment and ask that the rest of the day bring God glory.
Amazingly as I prayed I would often feel a sense of peace just knowing that I wasn't doing this alone.
2. You probably wouldn't know it but at home when it's just me and the kids, I'm a yeller. I'm not proud of it, I know as an adult I should and can control myself, and that it really accomplishes nothing but to teach my kids to be yellers. But even knowing all that I still find myself yelling when the pressures of the day begin to mount. It's not all the time or everyday, but it's more often than anyone should. What I found though was starting my day with a prayer and focusing on bringing God glory made me much more aware of how things came out of my mouth. I've always been careful with the words I use but not always with the way they are delivered which can be just as damaging. With this fresh look at things I didn't suddenly stop yelling but I do catch myself sooner and most times bring it to a stop.
3. Housekeeping. I haven't developed a sense of calling to be an excellent housekeeper, in fact I'm not sure anyone is called to be a toilet scrubber, but I am called to be a mother and a wife who has chosen to make my home my work. And therefore that requires that I keep the house in an order that gives my family a sense of peace, safety, and comfort. (recently I think if had this had been a paid job I might have been fired) So I now do the tedious and less than desirable tasks with a little less grumbling than before. I also try to remember that as much as I despise cleaning and laundry, I am blessed to have a house to clean, a kitchen to prepare food in, a pile of laundry to do and a family for which I can do those things.
4. My kids behavior will not change simply because I have a new outlook. But my reaction to their behavior has begun to change (it's a slow process). Instead of adding to the drama I am trying to understand how we got to this point and how do we get past it. It isn't an easy thing especially with multiple kids screaming and crying at me all at once. But it's worth doing. It's worth working to control myself to teach my children that it can be done and therefore they can learn it too. There all still many times when 5 kids end up in their rooms without a chance to explain or anyone investigating the reason behind conflict because there are still times when I've just had enough.
This is just the beginning!
I remember once when I had just had my fifth child, I was truly
living in the midst of sheer chaos with 5 kids 8 yrs and under, sitting at a women's breakfast
at church listening to a speaker who said "Ladies your attitude sets the tone
for your house each morning and praying to have a servant's heart will set the right tone." I wanted to jump up and scream at her "How
can you say that? - I am not the one who woke up screaming like a banshee today, or
broke-down in sobs because I didn't want pancakes for breakfast, or who
ran out the door in hysterics because I didn't want to wear a coat to
school." But now as I look back I realize she wasn't saying that my attitude would change the emotional ups and downs of daily life but that how I chose to start the day and focus my efforts affects how I handle those ups and downs. Maybe if I had listened to what she was truly trying to point out and prayed for a servant's heart then I would be in a different place today, but when you're the one drowning it's hard to see how you could save yourself.
So each morning I will continue to ask the Holy Spirit to help me to attack life with joy and to do my work to God's glory, to be his servant. My family may not see the changes yet and may never see them because they can be so small and gradual, but with any luck it will rub off on my children in the long run. As for the dog we may just have to get some Prozac.
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Enjoying the work I do
As another mother and I walked behind our two girls heading into dance class this evening she commented on the energy they had this point in the day. The girls were skipping, running, and dancing their way into the class room and I said I wished I would have that kind of energy when I got home this evening as I still had much to do; cleaning, cooking, helping with homework, etc. The other woman remarked that their enthusiasm and bounce probably came from the fact that they loved what they were doing and were just excited to be there. I then said maybe that's how we should approach our tasks, love what we're doing and just be excited to be there. She looked at me strangely and said "Yeah you let me know how that goes for you."
But as I sit here this evening I wonder "Why can't I approach the tasks I have with enthusiasm and bounce?" I did once. When my husband and I first got married I remember being excited about everything I did in our new home. I cleaned it with gusto, not often because I don't really like cleaning and it really wouldn't be in my nature to do it too much, but when I did I worked my hardest to make our home sparkle. Now I do only what needs to be done and even that I do why grumbling and complaining. Most of the time wishing I had a bigger house with more room and a places to hide all our junk. (For some reason I have this vision of me in large home mopping the floors in my nice clothes and heels with a smile on my face, I may have watched one too many Pine-sol commercials.)
I cooked with eagerness and joy too. I made every kind of bone-less chicken breast you can imagine; chicken with cranberries, Chicken Marsala, Cajun chicken, herb chicken, chicken quesadilla, and the list goes on. And my wonderful husband ate everything I made. It wasn't until we had be married for almost 10 years that I learned he didn't even really like boneless chicken breasts, luckily by then my cooking repertoire had expanded, not only to new entree's but I even started making some sides. I still like cooking but by the time the task comes around in the evening I'm usually less than excited about it.
Even when my oldest went to school I attacked homework with passion and cheer. I couldn't wait to sit down with her and see what she was learning, how she was progressing, and what new things I could be of help teaching her. Now homework is a battle fought most evenings. But maybe it doesn't have to be, maybe part of the problem is that I dread it before they are even off the bus.
And so this evening I sit and wonder why shouldn't my attitude be better? Isn't this what I wanted. I came to my husband when my oldest was a baby and we were expecting our second and asked to stay home with them. To care for them, to lead them, to teach them, and to be there when they headed out to school in the morning and to be waiting when they came home. Though being a homemaker may not be quite what I expected, because even then I pictured myself in heels doing chores, happy children helping, fancy meals simmering on the stove, and all while I smiled with joy (again I might have spent too much time watching 50's TV shows). But even as life is I can still meet each day with joy and eagerness. I will focus my thoughts on Proverbs 31 and I will challenge myself to be more enthusiastic, to have a more joyful attitude and to remember that all of this I do for the benefit of my family and the glory of God. And I'll let you know how it goes.
Of course going to bed before 1AM might help too.
But as I sit here this evening I wonder "Why can't I approach the tasks I have with enthusiasm and bounce?" I did once. When my husband and I first got married I remember being excited about everything I did in our new home. I cleaned it with gusto, not often because I don't really like cleaning and it really wouldn't be in my nature to do it too much, but when I did I worked my hardest to make our home sparkle. Now I do only what needs to be done and even that I do why grumbling and complaining. Most of the time wishing I had a bigger house with more room and a places to hide all our junk. (For some reason I have this vision of me in large home mopping the floors in my nice clothes and heels with a smile on my face, I may have watched one too many Pine-sol commercials.)
I cooked with eagerness and joy too. I made every kind of bone-less chicken breast you can imagine; chicken with cranberries, Chicken Marsala, Cajun chicken, herb chicken, chicken quesadilla, and the list goes on. And my wonderful husband ate everything I made. It wasn't until we had be married for almost 10 years that I learned he didn't even really like boneless chicken breasts, luckily by then my cooking repertoire had expanded, not only to new entree's but I even started making some sides. I still like cooking but by the time the task comes around in the evening I'm usually less than excited about it.
Even when my oldest went to school I attacked homework with passion and cheer. I couldn't wait to sit down with her and see what she was learning, how she was progressing, and what new things I could be of help teaching her. Now homework is a battle fought most evenings. But maybe it doesn't have to be, maybe part of the problem is that I dread it before they are even off the bus.
And so this evening I sit and wonder why shouldn't my attitude be better? Isn't this what I wanted. I came to my husband when my oldest was a baby and we were expecting our second and asked to stay home with them. To care for them, to lead them, to teach them, and to be there when they headed out to school in the morning and to be waiting when they came home. Though being a homemaker may not be quite what I expected, because even then I pictured myself in heels doing chores, happy children helping, fancy meals simmering on the stove, and all while I smiled with joy (again I might have spent too much time watching 50's TV shows). But even as life is I can still meet each day with joy and eagerness. I will focus my thoughts on Proverbs 31 and I will challenge myself to be more enthusiastic, to have a more joyful attitude and to remember that all of this I do for the benefit of my family and the glory of God. And I'll let you know how it goes.
Of course going to bed before 1AM might help too.
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Dinnertime
The family dinner is something I grew up with, seven people squished around the kitchen table, sharing food, stories from the day, children sharing report cards, asking for advice, discussing plans for the week, and enjoying each other's company, glad to be together for another meal. OK so it didn't really look like that all the time. We had the days where siblings were fighting, arguing over who gets to sit where, sarcastic comments being thrown here and there, and in some cases people leaving the table in tears (sometimes they weren't even family members). It could some days be described as chaos. As we grew older family dinner became a kind of testing ground for those who wished to court a member of our family. It was often said that if someone could survive a dinner with our family they were a keeper. (Roy survived more than one.) But there were good moments, those are the ones that have survived in my heart and have driven me to make family dinner a priority in our home. It's not easy though.
It starts with the planning. Now I will say I take a slightly different approach to the meal planning than others. I do not focus my meals on the kids' taste. For one reason, with five different opinions it would be virtually impossible for me to plan a meal every evening that would appeal to everyone. Unless of course I want to be a short order cook, and I don't. The second reason is that this is a way I can pamper my husband after a long day at work. So I plan meals that he and I can enjoy. If the kids like it great. If not they can eat their required portion (which is really just a couple of bites) and be done. (Now if you think this is cruel please know that my kids are fed well all day, if they don't eat a big dinner they'll be fine.) Back to the planning, though it may sound easy since I really only cater to my husband it still takes effort to come up with different meals for every day and be sure they will be meals that can be fixed during whatever craziness we have going on that day.
Once planned comes the preparation, which rarely goes as smoothly as I have in my head. Many of you who have children are aware of the 4PM - dinner insanity block. You know the time period when no matter how good your day has been everything seems to fall apart from schedules to kid's emotional stability, that period of time that your husband never sees and can't seem to understand why you are so on edge when he walks in, because he talked to you just an hour before when you were all sweet and happy. This is of course when I'm trying to cook dinner or if I've prepped well enough (which rarely happens) I'm putting the finishing touches on the meal. So let's just say it's challenging to get the meal to the table. But most nights I do it and in a timely manner. So when my husband arrives home from work we are ready to sit down enjoy the food and share our days.
Now here's how the dinners usually go. First we tried saying prayers, serving food, which lead to me cutting up food for people, request for sauces, etc. and by the time I sat down everyone was done. So we switched things up a bit, now we serve the food, everyone gets their own sauce (this really just means ranch or ketchup) and cut up whatever is necessary before we sit down to pray. Though my 11yr old still manages to clean his plate before I've even picked up my fork I am no longer eating alone. Though what this has also led to is the realization that my kids have some bad table habits: slurping, slouching, thumb sucking, tearing apart their food into miniscule pieces and then eating them one by one, and the list could go on. So I am having to practice a good deal of patience at the table to try and correct some of these behaviors while not losing my appetite (easier said than done).
But you might be thinking the conversation is well worth all the effort. And guess what, it is! Even though there are times when kids are arguing, the discussion heads in a less than all age level appropriate direction (like "So where do babies come from any way?"), or we find that the kids are stuck in a one word answer rut, most evenings are good. Most evenings are filled with laughter, stories from the day, discussions of the weeks plans and a family enjoying their time together just like I always pictured it.
One thing I do need to work on though is making family dinner a priority even when my husband isn't home. For years I have been in the habit of making those evenings a time when I was willing to be a "short order cook" or just warming up leftovers on the evenings when Roy played ball or was off at cards. I would fix the kids their requests and while they were all eating I would clean-up the kitchen, check e-mail or any number of little tasks and then clean-up from their meal, eating here and there as I found time. What I've realized is that some weeks every night is like that and much of their interesting stories or little details of the day were being missed. It never would have occurred to me to take this type of approach if one of the kids was gone for the evening, so why if Roy was gone did I find it ok. I suppose it started when the kids were small and family dinner without Roy was pretty much the same as breakfast or lunch. And since I had been with the kids all day I didn't really think there was much point in sitting down with them yet again. Plus it was just easier. Unfortunately I never quite got out of that phase. Last week though that changed. I made chocolate chip pancakes and bacon (a typical meal when Roy's gone) only this time instead of calling each child up as their plate was ready I did what we do every other night. I made all the food, had the kids set the table and fix drinks, and I sat down with them. Just me and the kids and it was great. It was enjoyable to listen to their tales from the day, to ask them questions, and to just interact with them outside of doing homework and chores. And though it would have been easier the other way I know it was worth the extra effort. This will be something I continue in the future.
It starts with the planning. Now I will say I take a slightly different approach to the meal planning than others. I do not focus my meals on the kids' taste. For one reason, with five different opinions it would be virtually impossible for me to plan a meal every evening that would appeal to everyone. Unless of course I want to be a short order cook, and I don't. The second reason is that this is a way I can pamper my husband after a long day at work. So I plan meals that he and I can enjoy. If the kids like it great. If not they can eat their required portion (which is really just a couple of bites) and be done. (Now if you think this is cruel please know that my kids are fed well all day, if they don't eat a big dinner they'll be fine.) Back to the planning, though it may sound easy since I really only cater to my husband it still takes effort to come up with different meals for every day and be sure they will be meals that can be fixed during whatever craziness we have going on that day.
Once planned comes the preparation, which rarely goes as smoothly as I have in my head. Many of you who have children are aware of the 4PM - dinner insanity block. You know the time period when no matter how good your day has been everything seems to fall apart from schedules to kid's emotional stability, that period of time that your husband never sees and can't seem to understand why you are so on edge when he walks in, because he talked to you just an hour before when you were all sweet and happy. This is of course when I'm trying to cook dinner or if I've prepped well enough (which rarely happens) I'm putting the finishing touches on the meal. So let's just say it's challenging to get the meal to the table. But most nights I do it and in a timely manner. So when my husband arrives home from work we are ready to sit down enjoy the food and share our days.
Now here's how the dinners usually go. First we tried saying prayers, serving food, which lead to me cutting up food for people, request for sauces, etc. and by the time I sat down everyone was done. So we switched things up a bit, now we serve the food, everyone gets their own sauce (this really just means ranch or ketchup) and cut up whatever is necessary before we sit down to pray. Though my 11yr old still manages to clean his plate before I've even picked up my fork I am no longer eating alone. Though what this has also led to is the realization that my kids have some bad table habits: slurping, slouching, thumb sucking, tearing apart their food into miniscule pieces and then eating them one by one, and the list could go on. So I am having to practice a good deal of patience at the table to try and correct some of these behaviors while not losing my appetite (easier said than done).
But you might be thinking the conversation is well worth all the effort. And guess what, it is! Even though there are times when kids are arguing, the discussion heads in a less than all age level appropriate direction (like "So where do babies come from any way?"), or we find that the kids are stuck in a one word answer rut, most evenings are good. Most evenings are filled with laughter, stories from the day, discussions of the weeks plans and a family enjoying their time together just like I always pictured it.
One thing I do need to work on though is making family dinner a priority even when my husband isn't home. For years I have been in the habit of making those evenings a time when I was willing to be a "short order cook" or just warming up leftovers on the evenings when Roy played ball or was off at cards. I would fix the kids their requests and while they were all eating I would clean-up the kitchen, check e-mail or any number of little tasks and then clean-up from their meal, eating here and there as I found time. What I've realized is that some weeks every night is like that and much of their interesting stories or little details of the day were being missed. It never would have occurred to me to take this type of approach if one of the kids was gone for the evening, so why if Roy was gone did I find it ok. I suppose it started when the kids were small and family dinner without Roy was pretty much the same as breakfast or lunch. And since I had been with the kids all day I didn't really think there was much point in sitting down with them yet again. Plus it was just easier. Unfortunately I never quite got out of that phase. Last week though that changed. I made chocolate chip pancakes and bacon (a typical meal when Roy's gone) only this time instead of calling each child up as their plate was ready I did what we do every other night. I made all the food, had the kids set the table and fix drinks, and I sat down with them. Just me and the kids and it was great. It was enjoyable to listen to their tales from the day, to ask them questions, and to just interact with them outside of doing homework and chores. And though it would have been easier the other way I know it was worth the extra effort. This will be something I continue in the future.
Friday, August 31, 2012
Sometimes......
When my older 3 kids were little I didn't mind not having a grocery plan. In fact I actually preferred waiting until about 2pm each day to decide what I wanted to fix. Then when the kids woke up from their naps, off to the store we'd go. We lived very close to the grocery and it was my excuse to get out of the house a little each day. With three kids under 3 I needed at least a few minutes in the outside world each day and this usually went smoothly for us. But it wasn't very economical and on those days when the kids were sick or cranky it usually ended in a call to my husband to pick up something on the way home. But as our family grew and kids got into school, after school activities, etc that plan was too impractical to continue.
So in recent years I have tried to become better at getting a dinner plan in place. One that allows for grocery shopping to be done in one easy and hopefully cost effective trip. Also so that the hour or so before dinner that is already a hectic period of homework, hungry kids, and a multitude of activities isn't complicated by me trying to figure out what to feed this group. My plan isn't very concrete though and often I find it to be a frustrating experience, much like this week.
I went out on my weekly grocery trip with list and weekly dinner plan written out. Only once I got into the grocery store I realized I had forgotten my list but I still had the dinner plan in my head so I was sure I could remember what I needed. As I went up and down the aisles thinking through what I knew was in my cabinets and what would be required to complete my menu, I saw it. A package of Italian dressing mix. On most days this wouldn't spark excitement or even interest me, but the site of it made me recall a recipe I had seen on a friends blog and had been wanting to try. So I grabbed the packet, quickly thought through my weekly menu and decided where it could be substituted. Tuesday, that would be the day for this new recipe. (I have to admit that I'm a bit of a cooking nerd and get excited over new recipes.) So I bought the other items I didn't have for that meal and went home.
Tuesday morning arrived and I went to begin preparing dinner. It was 10am and as I went out to the garage fridge I was surprised to find that my roast was not sitting there waiting for me. As I searched frantically for the large piece of meat that I had just purchased I wondered if it had actually made it into the grocery cart. It wouldn't be the first time an item had gotten left behind at the store, either by the bagger or myself. So I searched through my purse for the grocery receipt just to ensure that I had actually bought it. It's not unreasonable for me to forget that I didn't get an item because it wasn't there, the price was more than I expected, I needed to get it at a different store or I simply forgot to pick it up, but there it was on the receipt. Before calling the store to ask if it had gotten left at the cashier I sat down and ran through the my previous shopping trip to see if I could recall the last place I had seen it. It hit me that the kids had helped put the groceries away that day and had been asking where things should go, indoor fridge? outdoor fridge, freezer? THE FREEZER! I ran out to the garage again and pulled open the freezer door. After moving a few things around there it was, a solid frozen mass of meat. The mystery was solved, but now what to do about dinner?
I switched my plan around and put the roast in the refrigerator to thaw. Tomorrow we would try the new roast. Tonight chicken. And then Wednesday came and again I started getting ready to prepare dinner. Only wait, a roast tonight wouldn't work. There will be no one home. And Thursday was a no go because there still wouldn't be anyone home to eat it. Of course this also affected Thursday's menu as that was supposed to be leftover night but I guess now it will be sandwiches. Luckily the roast will still mostly frozen so I left it in the fridge for Friday.
When Friday finally rolled around I went through my usual morning routine, ran out to do an errand, fixed the kids lunch, then it hit me: I was going to make that roast tonight. I'd have to be quick though I only had a little while to get it on so it would have enough time to cook. So I began looking for the recipe only now I couldn't remember which post on my friend's blog it had been on. When I had run across it I had be looking through some of her older posts that I hadn't read yet. After viewing about 10 posts I thought surely I could just Google it and come up with a close enough recipe. Nope! So I continued to search. Finally there it was in the middle of one of her posts. I jotted it down ran upstairs and began pulling out the ingredients, it only had four. But wouldn't you know it one of them (one that I always have on hand) I didn't have. ARRGGGGHHH! Sometimes.........
P.S. I did continue on the recipe and came up with a suitable substitute for the missing ingredient. Hopefully dinner tonight will be a success!
So in recent years I have tried to become better at getting a dinner plan in place. One that allows for grocery shopping to be done in one easy and hopefully cost effective trip. Also so that the hour or so before dinner that is already a hectic period of homework, hungry kids, and a multitude of activities isn't complicated by me trying to figure out what to feed this group. My plan isn't very concrete though and often I find it to be a frustrating experience, much like this week.
I went out on my weekly grocery trip with list and weekly dinner plan written out. Only once I got into the grocery store I realized I had forgotten my list but I still had the dinner plan in my head so I was sure I could remember what I needed. As I went up and down the aisles thinking through what I knew was in my cabinets and what would be required to complete my menu, I saw it. A package of Italian dressing mix. On most days this wouldn't spark excitement or even interest me, but the site of it made me recall a recipe I had seen on a friends blog and had been wanting to try. So I grabbed the packet, quickly thought through my weekly menu and decided where it could be substituted. Tuesday, that would be the day for this new recipe. (I have to admit that I'm a bit of a cooking nerd and get excited over new recipes.) So I bought the other items I didn't have for that meal and went home.
Tuesday morning arrived and I went to begin preparing dinner. It was 10am and as I went out to the garage fridge I was surprised to find that my roast was not sitting there waiting for me. As I searched frantically for the large piece of meat that I had just purchased I wondered if it had actually made it into the grocery cart. It wouldn't be the first time an item had gotten left behind at the store, either by the bagger or myself. So I searched through my purse for the grocery receipt just to ensure that I had actually bought it. It's not unreasonable for me to forget that I didn't get an item because it wasn't there, the price was more than I expected, I needed to get it at a different store or I simply forgot to pick it up, but there it was on the receipt. Before calling the store to ask if it had gotten left at the cashier I sat down and ran through the my previous shopping trip to see if I could recall the last place I had seen it. It hit me that the kids had helped put the groceries away that day and had been asking where things should go, indoor fridge? outdoor fridge, freezer? THE FREEZER! I ran out to the garage again and pulled open the freezer door. After moving a few things around there it was, a solid frozen mass of meat. The mystery was solved, but now what to do about dinner?
I switched my plan around and put the roast in the refrigerator to thaw. Tomorrow we would try the new roast. Tonight chicken. And then Wednesday came and again I started getting ready to prepare dinner. Only wait, a roast tonight wouldn't work. There will be no one home. And Thursday was a no go because there still wouldn't be anyone home to eat it. Of course this also affected Thursday's menu as that was supposed to be leftover night but I guess now it will be sandwiches. Luckily the roast will still mostly frozen so I left it in the fridge for Friday.
When Friday finally rolled around I went through my usual morning routine, ran out to do an errand, fixed the kids lunch, then it hit me: I was going to make that roast tonight. I'd have to be quick though I only had a little while to get it on so it would have enough time to cook. So I began looking for the recipe only now I couldn't remember which post on my friend's blog it had been on. When I had run across it I had be looking through some of her older posts that I hadn't read yet. After viewing about 10 posts I thought surely I could just Google it and come up with a close enough recipe. Nope! So I continued to search. Finally there it was in the middle of one of her posts. I jotted it down ran upstairs and began pulling out the ingredients, it only had four. But wouldn't you know it one of them (one that I always have on hand) I didn't have. ARRGGGGHHH! Sometimes.........
P.S. I did continue on the recipe and came up with a suitable substitute for the missing ingredient. Hopefully dinner tonight will be a success!
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
It Probably Shouldn't Have Been So Hard
I ran into to a friend tonight who asked me how my blog was going. Since I haven't posted since May I had to admit not to good. I guess I haven't felt that I've had much to tell lately. Though we've had a fun summer, nothing crazy or overly interesting has happened. It's been mostly the lazy days of summer hanging by the pool (well at least when it's not been more than 100 out). Otherwise we're just hanging out in the house at which time I'm trying to keep the kids from driving each other crazy and me in the process. And unfortunately by the time the kids go to bed in the evenings the amusing anecdotes of the day are already fading from my memory as I try to gain control of my home before I fall onto the couch for a few moments of TV. (I'm usually watching something completely void of intelligence that requires little or no concentration- vegging out as one might call it)
Today however I do have slightly amusing story to share. It's one most moms can relate to. Usually my little tidbits are about my kids and the funny things they do or say but today it's all about me.
The day started with discussions of back -to- school supplies. We were sorting through the things we already had and deciding which items we needed. This has been especially exciting for our 5yr old because she will be starting kindergarten this year. Riding the bus to school, eating lunch there, riding the bus home, it all so thrilling for her. Though we often make use of hand-me-downs or last year's items that are still in good condition we always allow the children to choose a new backpack when they start kindergarten. Lil K had been thinking about this for sometime and had announced a few days ago that she wanted a pink backpack with polka dots to match her swimsuit. So this morning we got on the internet and began the search. It took a little while but we finally found one. A quilted backpack in fuchsia pink with bright green polka dots and a bow. "That's THE ONE!" she said with confidence when she saw it. Of course it wasn't on sale and it wasn't available on any of my favorite discount sites but after viewing about a 1000 backpacks on almost as many sites I decided it would be worth it. I went to mark the page so I could order it later when I noticed a comment that it was the last one in stock. Being concerned we wouldn't be able to get it later I immediately began the ordering process. It was a website I had ordered from before so all my information was in the system. I quickly clicked through the screens and then it was done. I flipped back to my email to make sure I got a confirmation then jumped up and ran off to get started on my daily routine.
A few moments later my eldest daughter asked if she could use the computer. I said yes and she headed down to the desk. As I was working my way through the kitchen clean-up K comes back and asks why I was having Lil K's backpack sent to our old house. "huh, what?" When she had gotten to the computer the confirmation email was still on the screen. And there in black and white was the ship to address, our old home. Of course that needed to be changed so I began looking for the instructions that would help me do that. For 10 minutes I searched the website and could find no way in which to correct the error. (I guess they just expect you to know where you live.) So then I thought I'll just call customer service. Have you noticed how hard it is to track down a customer service number these days? Finally I found one. Once on the phone I was greeted by friendly representative ready to help me with my issue. (yeah, right) I explained the situation and his response "uh, I can't change the ship to address." I reexplained that I had just placed the order and that it hadn't been fulfilled yet. "yeah, I still can't change the address, I'll have to cancel the order and you can place it again." (Wow, that's technology working for you.) So I agreed to canceling the order then got back on the website and reordered the backpack, carefully checking all addresses and clicked to place order. Only problem. I forgot to switch the credit card to the current one. So back to the website, cancel the order, and then return to try the order again. Only remember how it was the last one in stock, well now it's not available. (Oh NO!)
Well I certainly wasn't going to tell Lil K she couldn't have THE ONE because I couldn't seem to place an order. So I began the search again for this one particular bag. After just a few websites I located one and was thrilled to find out it was also less expensive with free monogramming. So click, enter correct information, and place order. Whew! Crisis averted, backpack ordered, and now I can get on with my day.
As I was cleaning up and folding laundry (that pile that always seems to be there) I was suddenly smacked in the face with the realization that the back pack comes in 2 sizes, we needed the bigger one and I didn't check to see which size I ordered. I ran back to the computer pulled up the site and guess what! It didn't even say what size it was. AAAHHHH!! Since it was a small retailer I thought the best solution was to send a quick e-mail to inquire about the size and cancel the order if necessary. I typed up a quick note sent it off then thought I better hunt up another one just in case. So I began the search again and wouldn't you know it, the site I started on, where the bag was no longer available, it was now available and you got it - ONLY 1 LEFT IN STOCK. So I checked my email hoping my question had be answered. It had not. Now what do I do? Order this one and try to cancel the other or hope for the best. I decided to wait until this evening and hope that last one didn't sell if I did in fact need it.
The end of the story is a happy one. The retailer with which I placed the order finally got back to me and it is the correct size. And if you were wondering the last one is still available.
Why I had so much trouble with this order I can't say. Maybe lack of sleep, maybe because there were too many kids in the room talking to me while I was trying to place the order, or maybe .......
And I know you're probably saying all that for a backpack, but when you are in a large family and most of what your child wears, carries, or rides use to be someone else's it's nice to get them something they really want and is just theirs once in awhile. And come that first day of school my kindergartener will wearing THE ONE backpack she really wanted and at that moment it will have been worth it.
Today however I do have slightly amusing story to share. It's one most moms can relate to. Usually my little tidbits are about my kids and the funny things they do or say but today it's all about me.
The day started with discussions of back -to- school supplies. We were sorting through the things we already had and deciding which items we needed. This has been especially exciting for our 5yr old because she will be starting kindergarten this year. Riding the bus to school, eating lunch there, riding the bus home, it all so thrilling for her. Though we often make use of hand-me-downs or last year's items that are still in good condition we always allow the children to choose a new backpack when they start kindergarten. Lil K had been thinking about this for sometime and had announced a few days ago that she wanted a pink backpack with polka dots to match her swimsuit. So this morning we got on the internet and began the search. It took a little while but we finally found one. A quilted backpack in fuchsia pink with bright green polka dots and a bow. "That's THE ONE!" she said with confidence when she saw it. Of course it wasn't on sale and it wasn't available on any of my favorite discount sites but after viewing about a 1000 backpacks on almost as many sites I decided it would be worth it. I went to mark the page so I could order it later when I noticed a comment that it was the last one in stock. Being concerned we wouldn't be able to get it later I immediately began the ordering process. It was a website I had ordered from before so all my information was in the system. I quickly clicked through the screens and then it was done. I flipped back to my email to make sure I got a confirmation then jumped up and ran off to get started on my daily routine.
A few moments later my eldest daughter asked if she could use the computer. I said yes and she headed down to the desk. As I was working my way through the kitchen clean-up K comes back and asks why I was having Lil K's backpack sent to our old house. "huh, what?" When she had gotten to the computer the confirmation email was still on the screen. And there in black and white was the ship to address, our old home. Of course that needed to be changed so I began looking for the instructions that would help me do that. For 10 minutes I searched the website and could find no way in which to correct the error. (I guess they just expect you to know where you live.) So then I thought I'll just call customer service. Have you noticed how hard it is to track down a customer service number these days? Finally I found one. Once on the phone I was greeted by friendly representative ready to help me with my issue. (yeah, right) I explained the situation and his response "uh, I can't change the ship to address." I reexplained that I had just placed the order and that it hadn't been fulfilled yet. "yeah, I still can't change the address, I'll have to cancel the order and you can place it again." (Wow, that's technology working for you.) So I agreed to canceling the order then got back on the website and reordered the backpack, carefully checking all addresses and clicked to place order. Only problem. I forgot to switch the credit card to the current one. So back to the website, cancel the order, and then return to try the order again. Only remember how it was the last one in stock, well now it's not available. (Oh NO!)
Well I certainly wasn't going to tell Lil K she couldn't have THE ONE because I couldn't seem to place an order. So I began the search again for this one particular bag. After just a few websites I located one and was thrilled to find out it was also less expensive with free monogramming. So click, enter correct information, and place order. Whew! Crisis averted, backpack ordered, and now I can get on with my day.
As I was cleaning up and folding laundry (that pile that always seems to be there) I was suddenly smacked in the face with the realization that the back pack comes in 2 sizes, we needed the bigger one and I didn't check to see which size I ordered. I ran back to the computer pulled up the site and guess what! It didn't even say what size it was. AAAHHHH!! Since it was a small retailer I thought the best solution was to send a quick e-mail to inquire about the size and cancel the order if necessary. I typed up a quick note sent it off then thought I better hunt up another one just in case. So I began the search again and wouldn't you know it, the site I started on, where the bag was no longer available, it was now available and you got it - ONLY 1 LEFT IN STOCK. So I checked my email hoping my question had be answered. It had not. Now what do I do? Order this one and try to cancel the other or hope for the best. I decided to wait until this evening and hope that last one didn't sell if I did in fact need it.
The end of the story is a happy one. The retailer with which I placed the order finally got back to me and it is the correct size. And if you were wondering the last one is still available.
Why I had so much trouble with this order I can't say. Maybe lack of sleep, maybe because there were too many kids in the room talking to me while I was trying to place the order, or maybe .......
And I know you're probably saying all that for a backpack, but when you are in a large family and most of what your child wears, carries, or rides use to be someone else's it's nice to get them something they really want and is just theirs once in awhile. And come that first day of school my kindergartener will wearing THE ONE backpack she really wanted and at that moment it will have been worth it.
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
It only takes a moment
A mother rises early to pack lunches and fix breakfast. At the usual time she enters the room her sons' share and gently tries to rouse them with rubs on the back, questions about the school day ahead, and reminders of the afternoon plans. The boys grunt at her and swat her away as if she is just an annoying fly. She leaves the room allowing them another moments rest while she finishes breakfast. She returns to the room a little more firm with her request for them to rise, instructing them to put on an outer layer as the air has a slight chill to it this morning. She finally sees the slow movement of the young bodies making their way out from under their coverings and she heads back to the kitchen. After a few more calls up to the room, each becoming a little less sweet, the two boys eventually emerge. Only one has heeded the remarks of the extra layer, the other shivers dressed only in a thin t-shirt and shorts. As they make their way to the table to consume their breakfast (which luckily today they both seem to be content with) the mother tells the shivering son to return to his room after he eats for a sweatshirt. After the boys have finished their meal they drop into chairs near the kitchen with no suggestion that they intend to finish their preparations for school. Mustering her patience she reminds them that the bus will arrive shortly and they need to brush their teeth, comb their hair, and wash their faces. The oldest slowly makes his way into the bathroom only to exit moments later, the front of his hair wet and slicked while the back looks like a rooster's comb. The mother asks "Did you brush your teeth?" He grunts and returns to the bathroom. A second time he appears with the face wash complaining that the pump isn't working. As his father fixes the pump his mother again asks, "Did you brush your teeth yet?" Another grunt and the child once again returns to the bathroom. Meanwhile the younger brother continues to lounge in the chair. His mother suggests that he could be gathering his things, finding his shoes, and putting his lunch up. His response "But I haven't brushed my teeth yet." The mother with less suggestion and more command in her voice repeats the earlier statement about preparing his things. Just as he grudgingly rises from the chair the bathroom becomes available and he rushes in. Finally after several tips about combing and cleanliness both boys are properly groomed (or at least appear to be) and the mother once again begins the request to ready their backpacks and get their shoes. The boys saunter around the home searching for their homework trying to recall where they placed it after it was finished the afternoon before, causally looking for shoes, fighting, laughing and joking with each other during the process. As the minutes tick by the mother's impatience grows and her tone of voice with each reminder becomes more harsh. Then the moment arrives: backpacks are on their backs, shoes are on and kind of tied, and lunches are in hand. The mother with what gentleness she has left wishes them a good day and kisses them on the head as she see the bus coming up the street. Just then the youngest says "Can you fix me a snack for the afternoon snack time?" The mom's answer is short, compassion-less "No I don't have time now." And just as the bus pulls to a stop in front of the house he turns and looks at her with the eyes of one being sent into battle without rations. The mother sighs and knows that because of this moment there will be no mother-of-the-year nomination today.
Monday, April 9, 2012
Did You Ever Wonder.......?
I am always entertained by the conversations my kids have. Some are intriguing and make me wonder what's going on in their little minds, others make me realize how carefully I have to choose my words, and still others make me rethink some of the things I have always taken for granted or quit questioning years ago. Today my three youngest had the kind of conversation that made me wonder why I had never thought to ask those questions. It went something like this:
Lil K(5yrs) "What were Adam and Eve like when they were kids?"
C (8yrs) "They were never kids. God made them."
Lil K "Yeah I know God made everyone, but what were they like before they were big."
Lil B (3yrs) singing in the back ground "God made everyone, even the scary people"
C "They were always big, right mom?"
Me "Yes God made them as man and woman?"
Lil K "Yeah but what were they like when they were little?"
Me "They were never little honey, God made Adam as a grown man and then made Eve from Adam's rib."
Lil B still singing (to his own tune) "God made everyone, God made everyone," repeated again and again and again.....
C "So did Adam limp around for the rest of his life?"
Me "What??"
C "Well if he was missing a rib, don't you think he limped around after that?"
Me "I would think God healed him."
Lil K "So how many body parts could he live with out?"
Me *sigh*
Lil K "Let's talk about another bible story I have questions about."
C "Is Easter the day Jesus died?"
Me "No it's the ..." Lil K pipes up "The day he ROSE!"
Me "Yes that's right"
C "So he rose on April 8"
Me "No Easter is based on a different calender but it's always on a Sunday."
Lil B cries out from the back "No it's the day he died, the day he died, THE DAY HE DIED..."
Me "No honey it's not, it's..."
Lil K "Mom can't you drop it, he's only 3 years old. Now let's talk about Noah's ark. Did God tell Noah to build the ark on a Tuesday?"
Kind of makes you look at those biblical stories a little differently doesn't it?
Lil K(5yrs) "What were Adam and Eve like when they were kids?"
C (8yrs) "They were never kids. God made them."
Lil K "Yeah I know God made everyone, but what were they like before they were big."
Lil B (3yrs) singing in the back ground "God made everyone, even the scary people"
C "They were always big, right mom?"
Me "Yes God made them as man and woman?"
Lil K "Yeah but what were they like when they were little?"
Me "They were never little honey, God made Adam as a grown man and then made Eve from Adam's rib."
Lil B still singing (to his own tune) "God made everyone, God made everyone," repeated again and again and again.....
C "So did Adam limp around for the rest of his life?"
Me "What??"
C "Well if he was missing a rib, don't you think he limped around after that?"
Me "I would think God healed him."
Lil K "So how many body parts could he live with out?"
Me *sigh*
Lil K "Let's talk about another bible story I have questions about."
C "Is Easter the day Jesus died?"
Me "No it's the ..." Lil K pipes up "The day he ROSE!"
Me "Yes that's right"
C "So he rose on April 8"
Me "No Easter is based on a different calender but it's always on a Sunday."
Lil B cries out from the back "No it's the day he died, the day he died, THE DAY HE DIED..."
Me "No honey it's not, it's..."
Lil K "Mom can't you drop it, he's only 3 years old. Now let's talk about Noah's ark. Did God tell Noah to build the ark on a Tuesday?"
Kind of makes you look at those biblical stories a little differently doesn't it?
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Am I doing this right?
As a mother (parent) I often wonder if I'm doing this job right. Sure I provide food, shelter, and clothing for my kids. Some of their wants are met and they are being educated. But what about the rest of it. Am I teaching them to be good members of society. Am I truly helping them to learn compassion for others and a sense of social responsibility. Have I shown them what a Christian life looks like.
Most of the time I think I haven't had much success. Especially when they are tearing through the house screaming at each other and trying to cause someone physical harm. Or when they throw their stuff all over the house with little concern as to the effect it will have on those who have to clean up after them. Their constant complaints that it's not fair, I never get what I want, I always have to do everything. The tattle-tailing and continuous efforts to get another in trouble. The endless demands for clean clothes, snacks, and material goods sometimes make me feel that somewhere I've gone wrong. Somewhere I've made a terrible mistake and am raising a group of loud, selfish people who will do little to contribute to the world.
And then it happens.......
An older brother sees little sister struggling to get in the car and gently offers to help her.
One sibling offers to prepare breakfast for another before he/she gets their own.
A sister cries over the mistreatment of her brother by others.
The five playing together which such cohesiveness it's like the rest of the world doesn't exist.
A child cleaning up the kitchen without be told.
The effort one goes to in order to purchase or make a Christmas gift for each member of the family without requesting money from mom or dad.
An older sibling reading to a younger sibling.
Prayers of thanksgiving for each member of the family and for our Savior.
An offer from a brother to use his tickets to get something for his younger siblings.
A thank you to me for making dinner.
True concern expressed by a child for their grandparent, friend or sibling.
Seeing your child truly worship God.
Theses are the little moments that happen, sometimes not as often as I like, but they do happen, that assure me that my husband and I must be doing something right. These are the times I hold onto during the chaos. At those moments I see glimmers of the men and women my children will become and my heart swells.
Train up a child in the way he should go, And even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Proverbs 22:6
Most of the time I think I haven't had much success. Especially when they are tearing through the house screaming at each other and trying to cause someone physical harm. Or when they throw their stuff all over the house with little concern as to the effect it will have on those who have to clean up after them. Their constant complaints that it's not fair, I never get what I want, I always have to do everything. The tattle-tailing and continuous efforts to get another in trouble. The endless demands for clean clothes, snacks, and material goods sometimes make me feel that somewhere I've gone wrong. Somewhere I've made a terrible mistake and am raising a group of loud, selfish people who will do little to contribute to the world.
And then it happens.......
An older brother sees little sister struggling to get in the car and gently offers to help her.
One sibling offers to prepare breakfast for another before he/she gets their own.
A sister cries over the mistreatment of her brother by others.
The five playing together which such cohesiveness it's like the rest of the world doesn't exist.
A child cleaning up the kitchen without be told.
The effort one goes to in order to purchase or make a Christmas gift for each member of the family without requesting money from mom or dad.
An older sibling reading to a younger sibling.
Prayers of thanksgiving for each member of the family and for our Savior.
An offer from a brother to use his tickets to get something for his younger siblings.
A thank you to me for making dinner.
True concern expressed by a child for their grandparent, friend or sibling.
Seeing your child truly worship God.
Theses are the little moments that happen, sometimes not as often as I like, but they do happen, that assure me that my husband and I must be doing something right. These are the times I hold onto during the chaos. At those moments I see glimmers of the men and women my children will become and my heart swells.
Train up a child in the way he should go, And even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Proverbs 22:6
Monday, February 20, 2012
Rest Stop Tidbits
It never seems to fail that when we're on a road trip the kids always manage to need to make a bathroom stop when it's least convenient. Tonight was another one of those times.
Since we had a day off school and babysitting I decided it would be fun to throw the kids in the car and spend the day at my mom's. It's a little over two hours there and amazingly enough it always requires at least one pit stop. Of course on the way there this morning it was no big deal. We pulled over to a busy McDonald's, ran in, used the facilities, got a drink and were on our way.
After a busy day of shopping, crafting, and eating, the kids and I hopped back in the car to make the return trip. We were leaving at dusk and as darkness rolled over us we drove along the highway playing games, listening to music, and a Veggie Tale story (which my older daughter and I both noted we now can say word for word). We were about an hour and fifteen minutes into the trip and passing the last exit available for the next 10-15 min when all three of my boys began the potty squirm. I had two options: pull over at the rest stop I could see the sign for or suggest they pee in a cup. Though I really didn't want to go to the rest stop as I have never liked them. It seemed like every time we stopped at one when I was a kid they were always dirty, crowded, and there were never enough stalls. So as an adult I have tried to avoid them at all costs. But I envisioned the next few weeks of finding cups filled with pee all over the house because my 3yr old would see this as a new game instead of a one time thing. So I put on my blinker and pulled over onto the ramp. As we pull up in the lot there is one lonely car that looks as though it had been there awhile and around back several trucks.
We all get out and head into the welcome center. Now I realize that I can be a little over protective but I have always hated letting my older kids head into a public bathroom without an adult. In most cases I usually relent keeping a careful eye on the door for their return and knowing that if they're gone too long I won't hesitate to walk into to see why, even if it's the mens bathroom. Luckily I have never had to do that. This time however there was no way I was letting the boy's head into that bathroom on their own. As we were walking into the lobby I wondered how I was going to coax my 8 and 10 yr old boys to go with me into the women's when luck would have it there were family bathrooms right out in the lobby. (This by the way was the nicest rest stop I have ever been too.) I had the three older kids use one of those restrooms and keep watch over each other as I took the little two into the women's restroom.
Of course being a recently updated facility everything there was automatic. First we tackled the toilet. Now please keep in mind that my 3yr old has recently developed a fear of the flushing sound a toilet makes. So as he trying to go the toilet flushes and he comes running out of the stall with his hands over his ears and his pants around his ankles. My 5yr old on the other hand is sitting on the pot and for whatever reason the toilet keeps flushing sending her into a round of giggles with each whoosh. Then came the sinks, it always takes these two forever to find the just the right spot to hold their hands to get the water running. I would get one in the right spot turn to the other and then have to turn back to the first because his tiny little hand had moved an 1/8 of a centimeter. And of course each time the water turns on the two of them erupt in laughter. Why? I don't know. Now it's time to dry and being an earth friendly facility the only drying option is the Excel dryers. Have you come across these wind tunnels yet? I have know idea how fast the air is moving that comes out of them but it's enough to make my skin look as if it's being pushed off my hands. Now imagine being a tiny little 30 pound child. It hits their hands hard enough to almost knock them over and again the giggles burst out. But it's not enough to stick their hands under there just once they want to do it over and over again. (some how this does not seem to be energy saving to me).
We finally make it out rejoin the other three and begin our our way out the door. And my 8yr old asks rather loudly "Why couldn't we go in the mens bathroom? Is it because you don't trust the people here?" Just then a truck driver walks out of the vending area. And I wondered if he found humor in the giggles rolling out of the women's bathroom and hoped he wasn't offended by my son's question. But instead saw my move for what it was; the only way I could be comfortable in a mostly deserted rest stop.
Since we had a day off school and babysitting I decided it would be fun to throw the kids in the car and spend the day at my mom's. It's a little over two hours there and amazingly enough it always requires at least one pit stop. Of course on the way there this morning it was no big deal. We pulled over to a busy McDonald's, ran in, used the facilities, got a drink and were on our way.
After a busy day of shopping, crafting, and eating, the kids and I hopped back in the car to make the return trip. We were leaving at dusk and as darkness rolled over us we drove along the highway playing games, listening to music, and a Veggie Tale story (which my older daughter and I both noted we now can say word for word). We were about an hour and fifteen minutes into the trip and passing the last exit available for the next 10-15 min when all three of my boys began the potty squirm. I had two options: pull over at the rest stop I could see the sign for or suggest they pee in a cup. Though I really didn't want to go to the rest stop as I have never liked them. It seemed like every time we stopped at one when I was a kid they were always dirty, crowded, and there were never enough stalls. So as an adult I have tried to avoid them at all costs. But I envisioned the next few weeks of finding cups filled with pee all over the house because my 3yr old would see this as a new game instead of a one time thing. So I put on my blinker and pulled over onto the ramp. As we pull up in the lot there is one lonely car that looks as though it had been there awhile and around back several trucks.
We all get out and head into the welcome center. Now I realize that I can be a little over protective but I have always hated letting my older kids head into a public bathroom without an adult. In most cases I usually relent keeping a careful eye on the door for their return and knowing that if they're gone too long I won't hesitate to walk into to see why, even if it's the mens bathroom. Luckily I have never had to do that. This time however there was no way I was letting the boy's head into that bathroom on their own. As we were walking into the lobby I wondered how I was going to coax my 8 and 10 yr old boys to go with me into the women's when luck would have it there were family bathrooms right out in the lobby. (This by the way was the nicest rest stop I have ever been too.) I had the three older kids use one of those restrooms and keep watch over each other as I took the little two into the women's restroom.
Of course being a recently updated facility everything there was automatic. First we tackled the toilet. Now please keep in mind that my 3yr old has recently developed a fear of the flushing sound a toilet makes. So as he trying to go the toilet flushes and he comes running out of the stall with his hands over his ears and his pants around his ankles. My 5yr old on the other hand is sitting on the pot and for whatever reason the toilet keeps flushing sending her into a round of giggles with each whoosh. Then came the sinks, it always takes these two forever to find the just the right spot to hold their hands to get the water running. I would get one in the right spot turn to the other and then have to turn back to the first because his tiny little hand had moved an 1/8 of a centimeter. And of course each time the water turns on the two of them erupt in laughter. Why? I don't know. Now it's time to dry and being an earth friendly facility the only drying option is the Excel dryers. Have you come across these wind tunnels yet? I have know idea how fast the air is moving that comes out of them but it's enough to make my skin look as if it's being pushed off my hands. Now imagine being a tiny little 30 pound child. It hits their hands hard enough to almost knock them over and again the giggles burst out. But it's not enough to stick their hands under there just once they want to do it over and over again. (some how this does not seem to be energy saving to me).
We finally make it out rejoin the other three and begin our our way out the door. And my 8yr old asks rather loudly "Why couldn't we go in the mens bathroom? Is it because you don't trust the people here?" Just then a truck driver walks out of the vending area. And I wondered if he found humor in the giggles rolling out of the women's bathroom and hoped he wasn't offended by my son's question. But instead saw my move for what it was; the only way I could be comfortable in a mostly deserted rest stop.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
The Cup
I often find that one of the greatest challenges of motherhood is the doctor's office. I rarely get to go with just one child, there is almost always some sort of drama in the office, and many times the treatments that come from the appointment create a whole new challenge at home. Friday was an experience I had not yet had though.
I have been lucky in that none of my children are afraid of going to the doctor. They really like their doctors and nurses and of course look forward to the sticker they get to choose at the end of the appointment. So when I told my 5yr old daughter she had a doctors appointment that morning she was not worried or apprehensive. She simply asked if she was going to have to get a shot. I assured that was not part of the plan and so she willing dressed and got ready to go. Now like I said before I rarely get to go with just one child. On this particular morning I had my 5yr old, my 3 yr old son, and the 10 month old that I babysit. So we packed in the car and headed out. Once we arrived Lil K confirmed that there was not to be a shot and happily strolled into the office. We did have to wait a little longer than usual but the kids were well occupied by the waiting room TV and the baby was entertained by the 2 year old boy who was giddy about the fish tank. Eventually we received the call to come back, I quickly gathered up all the belongings the kids had in such a short time manged to drop all over the waiting room and head back for Lil K's exam. Now the reason for our visit was that she was experiencing symptoms of a UTI. So the nurse immediately handed me a cup and said we'll need a urine sample. Having anticipated this moment I had given Lil K a bottle of water before heading to the office so I thought "this will be easy." (I should never have those thoughts.) The nurse was kind enough to keep an eye on the two boys while I enter the bathroom with Lil K in tow. We spent about 5 min in the bathroom and there was nothing. She just kept saying "but I don't need to go." I decided to wait until after visiting with the doctor and we could try again. We went back to the exam room where Lil B and "I" were waiting and sat down. Within moments the doctor appeared. We discussed Lil K's symptoms and she agreed that it sounded like a UTI. Of course she would need the urine sample to confirm. She suggested that we get Lil K some water and graciously offered to let us stay as long as needed to get the sample. By this point though, it's almost lunchtime, the baby (who had not yet had his morning nap) is no longer entertained by my singing or games of peek-a-boo, and Lil B is becoming harder and harder to distract from the spinning stool, rolling step stool, and the medical instruments on the counter. But I did want to get this taken care of so I think we'll wait 15 minutes.
Just moments after the doctor leaves Lil K jumps down from the exam table and says "I think I have to go potty." I open the door to grab a nurse for the boys, but there's none to be found. So I quickly round the three up (luckily I had thought to bring a stroller, something I had forgotten on previous visits) and make our way to the bathroom. When we get in there Lill K is bouncing around like she's going to burst at any moment. I prep her and get set and NOTHING. She just sits there. Then says she's not sure she does have to go now. "WHAT?" I insist that she sit a moment longer, meanwhile Lil B suddenly starts doing the pee pee dance and crying "I have to go potty, I have to go potty!" and the baby is exercising his vocal cords. (I'm sure people walking by the bathroom were wondering what was going on in there.) Lil K says "I think I can do it!" and squeezes her eyes shut and low and behold 5 little drops come out. (Sigh) I remove her from the toilet, put Lil B on and of course he could have filled two cups. We clean up and leave the bathroom carrying our sad little sample. I hand it to the nurse (which now there are 5 sitting at the desk that was vacant just moments ago) and she laughs and says "it's at least enough to do an office test, we'll just have to get more for the culture."
After the office test it's clear she does have a UTI but again we still need the culture. The nurse returns with a plastic bag containing a cup and instructions for our "at-home" sample. She tells me to drop it off anytime this evening, the office is also an immediate care and will be open until 8pm. I bundle up the kids and proceed with the rest of our day.. After lunch I drop my daughter off at preschool. When I return to pick her up 2 1/2 hours later she jumps in the car and says "I couldn't wait mom, I had to go." I'm thinking what is she talking about. And then she says "they didn't have a cup at school." OH! Somewhere in our communication she had understood that the very next time she went to the bathroom she must use a cup. Now I don't know if she asked for a cup but I'm feeling bad for the teacher if Lil K was trying to explain why she needed a cup to go to the bathroom. I explained to her that it was ok we would take care of it when we got home. As we're driving home she says "I have to go to the bathroom really bad." Great we're 3 mins from the house and I'm going to miss this opportunity because we're in the car."HOLD ON!" As soon as we pull in the garage we fly out of the car and into the bathroom. I prep her while she's dancing and squirming, get the cup and Yeah! Success!. Pop the sample in the fridge and now I can get on with my day and Lil K can quit worrying about peeing in a cup. Or so I think. A little while later we set down for an early dinner before our evening activities begin. In the middle of the meal Lil K asks "I need to go potty, do you want to get the cup?" Clearly I hadn't gotten across that we only had to do that once.
Later I get my two older boys ready to go to their basketball practice, I grab the sample from the fridge, toss it in the car and we drive off. As we're rolling down the road B (10yr old) picks up the bag with the sample and says "What's this?" "Your sisters pee," I reply. He quickly puts it down while C (8yr old) hollers from the back of the car "Let me see, I want to see it." ?Boys?
We run over to the doctors office and I run the sample up to the front desk. I explain to the woman at the desk what I have and the instructions I was given all while she's looking at me like my head is spinning and I'm spitting pea soup. She carefully picks up the bag and says she'll see if anyone is still back there but "no I can not leave the sample at the desk." Seriously? Even though it's after 5pm there a couple of nurses are still in the peds area and happily accept the sample we worked so hard for. Thank goodness. Now we just wait for the results.
I have been lucky in that none of my children are afraid of going to the doctor. They really like their doctors and nurses and of course look forward to the sticker they get to choose at the end of the appointment. So when I told my 5yr old daughter she had a doctors appointment that morning she was not worried or apprehensive. She simply asked if she was going to have to get a shot. I assured that was not part of the plan and so she willing dressed and got ready to go. Now like I said before I rarely get to go with just one child. On this particular morning I had my 5yr old, my 3 yr old son, and the 10 month old that I babysit. So we packed in the car and headed out. Once we arrived Lil K confirmed that there was not to be a shot and happily strolled into the office. We did have to wait a little longer than usual but the kids were well occupied by the waiting room TV and the baby was entertained by the 2 year old boy who was giddy about the fish tank. Eventually we received the call to come back, I quickly gathered up all the belongings the kids had in such a short time manged to drop all over the waiting room and head back for Lil K's exam. Now the reason for our visit was that she was experiencing symptoms of a UTI. So the nurse immediately handed me a cup and said we'll need a urine sample. Having anticipated this moment I had given Lil K a bottle of water before heading to the office so I thought "this will be easy." (I should never have those thoughts.) The nurse was kind enough to keep an eye on the two boys while I enter the bathroom with Lil K in tow. We spent about 5 min in the bathroom and there was nothing. She just kept saying "but I don't need to go." I decided to wait until after visiting with the doctor and we could try again. We went back to the exam room where Lil B and "I" were waiting and sat down. Within moments the doctor appeared. We discussed Lil K's symptoms and she agreed that it sounded like a UTI. Of course she would need the urine sample to confirm. She suggested that we get Lil K some water and graciously offered to let us stay as long as needed to get the sample. By this point though, it's almost lunchtime, the baby (who had not yet had his morning nap) is no longer entertained by my singing or games of peek-a-boo, and Lil B is becoming harder and harder to distract from the spinning stool, rolling step stool, and the medical instruments on the counter. But I did want to get this taken care of so I think we'll wait 15 minutes.
Just moments after the doctor leaves Lil K jumps down from the exam table and says "I think I have to go potty." I open the door to grab a nurse for the boys, but there's none to be found. So I quickly round the three up (luckily I had thought to bring a stroller, something I had forgotten on previous visits) and make our way to the bathroom. When we get in there Lill K is bouncing around like she's going to burst at any moment. I prep her and get set and NOTHING. She just sits there. Then says she's not sure she does have to go now. "WHAT?" I insist that she sit a moment longer, meanwhile Lil B suddenly starts doing the pee pee dance and crying "I have to go potty, I have to go potty!" and the baby is exercising his vocal cords. (I'm sure people walking by the bathroom were wondering what was going on in there.) Lil K says "I think I can do it!" and squeezes her eyes shut and low and behold 5 little drops come out. (Sigh) I remove her from the toilet, put Lil B on and of course he could have filled two cups. We clean up and leave the bathroom carrying our sad little sample. I hand it to the nurse (which now there are 5 sitting at the desk that was vacant just moments ago) and she laughs and says "it's at least enough to do an office test, we'll just have to get more for the culture."
After the office test it's clear she does have a UTI but again we still need the culture. The nurse returns with a plastic bag containing a cup and instructions for our "at-home" sample. She tells me to drop it off anytime this evening, the office is also an immediate care and will be open until 8pm. I bundle up the kids and proceed with the rest of our day.. After lunch I drop my daughter off at preschool. When I return to pick her up 2 1/2 hours later she jumps in the car and says "I couldn't wait mom, I had to go." I'm thinking what is she talking about. And then she says "they didn't have a cup at school." OH! Somewhere in our communication she had understood that the very next time she went to the bathroom she must use a cup. Now I don't know if she asked for a cup but I'm feeling bad for the teacher if Lil K was trying to explain why she needed a cup to go to the bathroom. I explained to her that it was ok we would take care of it when we got home. As we're driving home she says "I have to go to the bathroom really bad." Great we're 3 mins from the house and I'm going to miss this opportunity because we're in the car."HOLD ON!" As soon as we pull in the garage we fly out of the car and into the bathroom. I prep her while she's dancing and squirming, get the cup and Yeah! Success!. Pop the sample in the fridge and now I can get on with my day and Lil K can quit worrying about peeing in a cup. Or so I think. A little while later we set down for an early dinner before our evening activities begin. In the middle of the meal Lil K asks "I need to go potty, do you want to get the cup?" Clearly I hadn't gotten across that we only had to do that once.
Later I get my two older boys ready to go to their basketball practice, I grab the sample from the fridge, toss it in the car and we drive off. As we're rolling down the road B (10yr old) picks up the bag with the sample and says "What's this?" "Your sisters pee," I reply. He quickly puts it down while C (8yr old) hollers from the back of the car "Let me see, I want to see it." ?Boys?
We run over to the doctors office and I run the sample up to the front desk. I explain to the woman at the desk what I have and the instructions I was given all while she's looking at me like my head is spinning and I'm spitting pea soup. She carefully picks up the bag and says she'll see if anyone is still back there but "no I can not leave the sample at the desk." Seriously? Even though it's after 5pm there a couple of nurses are still in the peds area and happily accept the sample we worked so hard for. Thank goodness. Now we just wait for the results.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Jealous Much
I know that I am very lucky to have a mother who is so involved with my children. I know that I am lucky that my children love and adore my mother and want to spend time with her. But I have to say sometimes I am a little jealous of her. If my mother calls and invites them to her house their bags are packed and they are waiting by the door before she even gets off the phone. They think nothing of jumping in the car with her and heading the 2 hours to her house with barely a kiss or an "I love you" to me. Even the youngest two love to be with her so much that they talk from the time they get back from one trip to the time the next trip comes about how they can't wait to go to Grandma's.
This past weekend was no different. My mother came in on Friday to spend the day, watch the kids that evening so Roy and I could have an evening out (we usually only get one when she's in town) and then leave the next afternoon after lunch. All was going well until she said she was ready to pack her car and head home. Lil B (3) wanted to go with her, mom couldn't resist. Of course you can imagine with five children I rarely turn down an opportunity to send one off for a day or two (for their sanity and mine) so I agreed and began packing his bag. Immediately Lil K (5) decided that she too should be going with Grandma. Unfortunately she had school on Wednesday and Mom wasn't planning to bring Lil B back until Saturday. So the answer was no, but I reminded her she could go another time and that it meant she got to spend New Year's Eve with ME. Her face dropped to floor, her eyes began to well, and her voice to crack as she said "ok." In seconds she was in full throttle sob. You know the kind where they can't breathe and even after they are done they are still choking in the air as if it could begin all over again. She ran to her bed, climbed the ladder and lay there sobbing for the whole house to hear. This was more than my mom could bear. She came to me with a plan to meet me on Monday at our favorite meeting point just between our homes. As sobs drifted through the house I told mom not to worry, Lil K would get over it. But the heartbreaking sounds were too painful to endure and so I relented, packed her a bag and sent my two youngest home with their beloved Grandmother.
Two days later I packed the other three kids in the car and forged through the 1/2 inch of snow Indianapolis had received that day causing a ridiculous number of car accidents one of which we got stuck behind turning our forty-five minute drive into an hour an fifteen minutes. We finally arrived at the designated location and happened to pull in at the exact same moment as Mom and the little ones. I look through the window of the car and Lil K is waving excitedly at me, Lil B sound asleep. I open the door to help them out and he wakes up. His eyes flutter and try to focus, he suddenly realizes it's me and not Grandma (we look alot a like so sleepy eyes sometimes confuse the two at first), screams begin pouring out of his mouth "I don't want to go home yet! I wanted to stay long time! I don't want to go home." After quickly assuring him we weren't going home right then, but going into the restaurant to have lunch WITH GRANDMA, he calmed down. There were no hugs or kisses for me, no "I missed you." He just trotted behind Mom into the restaurant to get his milkshake.
Lunch went smoothly (well as smoothly as it can with five kids) and then it was time to load up and make the trip to our house. I put off the inevitable as long as I could, letting the kids stay inside with Mom while I switched the car seats around, put suitcases in the trunk, and collected up the various travel entertainment the kids had brought with them. And then it was time. I put Lil B in his seat and at first it seemed all was well but then the tears began to fall. "I want to go with Grandma, I want to stay long time." I quickly hurried the others in the car hoping that the faster we got moving the sooner he's cries of woe would stop, plus it was really cold out and I wanted to get in the car with the heater. With a quick hug and a thank you to Mom we were off, Lil B still crying. I promised over and over that he could go again soon and that Grandma would be over to visit before long. Eventually his crying ceased. After a few moments of silence in his sad little voice he said "You take me to see Mrs Ellis now." Great! He'd rather see my neighbor than go home with me. Guess I'll have to be a little jealous of her too, now. I won't even mention how excited he was to see the dog.
This past weekend was no different. My mother came in on Friday to spend the day, watch the kids that evening so Roy and I could have an evening out (we usually only get one when she's in town) and then leave the next afternoon after lunch. All was going well until she said she was ready to pack her car and head home. Lil B (3) wanted to go with her, mom couldn't resist. Of course you can imagine with five children I rarely turn down an opportunity to send one off for a day or two (for their sanity and mine) so I agreed and began packing his bag. Immediately Lil K (5) decided that she too should be going with Grandma. Unfortunately she had school on Wednesday and Mom wasn't planning to bring Lil B back until Saturday. So the answer was no, but I reminded her she could go another time and that it meant she got to spend New Year's Eve with ME. Her face dropped to floor, her eyes began to well, and her voice to crack as she said "ok." In seconds she was in full throttle sob. You know the kind where they can't breathe and even after they are done they are still choking in the air as if it could begin all over again. She ran to her bed, climbed the ladder and lay there sobbing for the whole house to hear. This was more than my mom could bear. She came to me with a plan to meet me on Monday at our favorite meeting point just between our homes. As sobs drifted through the house I told mom not to worry, Lil K would get over it. But the heartbreaking sounds were too painful to endure and so I relented, packed her a bag and sent my two youngest home with their beloved Grandmother.Two days later I packed the other three kids in the car and forged through the 1/2 inch of snow Indianapolis had received that day causing a ridiculous number of car accidents one of which we got stuck behind turning our forty-five minute drive into an hour an fifteen minutes. We finally arrived at the designated location and happened to pull in at the exact same moment as Mom and the little ones. I look through the window of the car and Lil K is waving excitedly at me, Lil B sound asleep. I open the door to help them out and he wakes up. His eyes flutter and try to focus, he suddenly realizes it's me and not Grandma (we look alot a like so sleepy eyes sometimes confuse the two at first), screams begin pouring out of his mouth "I don't want to go home yet! I wanted to stay long time! I don't want to go home." After quickly assuring him we weren't going home right then, but going into the restaurant to have lunch WITH GRANDMA, he calmed down. There were no hugs or kisses for me, no "I missed you." He just trotted behind Mom into the restaurant to get his milkshake.
Lunch went smoothly (well as smoothly as it can with five kids) and then it was time to load up and make the trip to our house. I put off the inevitable as long as I could, letting the kids stay inside with Mom while I switched the car seats around, put suitcases in the trunk, and collected up the various travel entertainment the kids had brought with them. And then it was time. I put Lil B in his seat and at first it seemed all was well but then the tears began to fall. "I want to go with Grandma, I want to stay long time." I quickly hurried the others in the car hoping that the faster we got moving the sooner he's cries of woe would stop, plus it was really cold out and I wanted to get in the car with the heater. With a quick hug and a thank you to Mom we were off, Lil B still crying. I promised over and over that he could go again soon and that Grandma would be over to visit before long. Eventually his crying ceased. After a few moments of silence in his sad little voice he said "You take me to see Mrs Ellis now." Great! He'd rather see my neighbor than go home with me. Guess I'll have to be a little jealous of her too, now. I won't even mention how excited he was to see the dog.
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